I see jean le roi on the ais. We make the Christmas dance together. Hold the sails to the right and see if they fill. To the left. We turn the boat and try again. And some moments I am just happy when the sails don’t flap too much. The flapping could damage and fatigue the sails and batten system. Growing swell makes it violent.

But then 2 knots and new silence... deep breath and exhale. I am so tired at this point that it seems like an unreal dream. Sometimes I sense amazing intense smell of the sea. As if a whale exhaled.

Doubts and hopes chatter in a far distant corner of my mind. wonder and silence dominate. Such a reunion of half the fleet has never happened in vendee history. And the dices are still spinning on the table. It may be quite a while till we draw a line under this episode and count the gains and losses.

4 days ago I shared the screen shot of my pacific routing statistic and deviated this the perfect reason to do the vendee. Great stable wind from behind. Amazing how wrong this outlook was.

I love having someone on ais. Makes it so more natural. You see even the king is going through exactly the same struggle and each pirouette. I cat nap now a bit through the morning.

Steering with compas mode (as wind angle mode can’t cope with the swell and the only 2 knots of wind we have) and adjusting the course by eye and hand every 5-10 mns. Calms are always the hardest. And when I feel better rested later I will try to chat with jean on vhf.

I remember a day in 2010 we spend together in his house.

It’s full of books and we share a special interest in coffee and coffee machines. He gave me one back then. With a hand pump.

Merry Christmas